We are far too young and clever
And things won't ever change.
17 August 2004
12:40 a.m.
The urge to b/p right now is almost irresistible...I want to get in my car and drive to Wendy's...two large fries, two huge burgers with everything...I don't know how my eating has been today. Lunch: half a quesadilla with salsa, an apple, and a glass of milk. Dinner: ham, pineapple, mac & cheese, a banana. I threw it up. I just felt like it was slightly too much and the purge was so easy. Since then I've snacked on grapes, a roll with olive oil, some Fritos. Jesus, it's just that I'm so fucking hungry. I also finally went to the gym today, 30 min on elliptical and some weight training. If I went and got fast food, that would be two purges today, that's bad. Bad bad bad so delicious. You hate purging. Your throat already hurts. Fast food is always a hard purge for you. Eat an apple and have some milk to take the edge off this craving. Go read, get away from the kitchen where everything reminds you of food. Think about your triglycerides and cholesterol, which are too high. Have some damn willpower. I want food so bad. No. Apple, milk, reading. If I still really want it in half an hour, maybe I'll go.
I want some serious drugs to make the urge to binge go away, and if my doctor won't do it, I'll go to a psych who will. Fuck this.
Previous:::Next
The End - 07 February 2007
Updatery - 03 December 2004
Not much to say - 13 November 2004
- - 11 November 2004
Hindsight is 20/20 - 11 November 2004
