We are far too young and clever
And things won't ever change.
10 August 2004
12:00 a.m.
Back again, nothing changed. I've become mind-bogglingly lazy about going to the gym. It just doesn't seem to ever make any difference. Maybe tomorrow. I'm fat as ever, still eating too much, throwing up some, but not enough to matter. I cut some, but I can't seem to gather the...courage? strength? recklessness? to cut as much as I used to. Maybe when it's long sleeve season. Still making no effort to find a job. I keep finding little reasons not to. Tiny flimsy excuses. I really don't want to live at home, though. It's making me crazy. But them's the breaks.
I'm thinking about asking my doctor about Prozac, as long as I'm still on my dad's insurance. Mainly because it's supposed to supress the urge to overeat. I'd have to tell her I'm bulimic, but it would be worth it. Who knows, though, I probably won't even bother. I don't really like my doctor.
I was supposed to be really watching my fat intake because my cholesterol and triglycerides are too high. Haven't been, I don't care. Another reason I don't want to see the doctor. Don't need the lecture.
Maybe it'll all be better tomorrow. I need to get back on a tight schedule, stop sleeping all day. I know I'd feel better. Tomorrow.
Previous:::Next
The End - 07 February 2007
Updatery - 03 December 2004
Not much to say - 13 November 2004
- - 11 November 2004
Hindsight is 20/20 - 11 November 2004
