We are far too young and clever
And things won't ever change.
07 July 2004
2:25 a.m.
This is probably going to be a pretty boring entry; I need to hash out all my feelings about today's eating or I'll be up all night thinking about it. It's all or nothing with me: either I eat everything I want (and shit I don't even want that much) and I gain weight or I lapse back into disordered eating. Today I ate:
Lunch:
Can of pineapple chunks
Ham and a little cheese on a roll
Dinner:
12 inch Italian sub with olive oil
Small bag of Lays potato chips
Reasonable amount of ice cream and a piece of cake
On the one hand, I'm glad I ate meals and didn't just snack all day. And I wasn't overly stuffed after either meal. The thing is, I wonder if I should have just eaten half the dinner sub. I probably would have been hungry afterwards. I felt so extremely guilty for eating it all, though. I almost threw it up. But then I figured, you'll just get hungry again later, and rightly so. So I went to the gym instead, did 25 min elliptical. I guess I'm happy with what I ate today. I didn't snack, which is where I think a lot of my calories come from. And I didn't end up too full.
I just don't really know how much to eat to lose weight. I don't know how many calories my body burns on it's own. I guess what I should do is eat like I did today for a couple weeks and see if I lose. I don't want to have to count calories. I want to learn to intuitively tell how much food I should eat. No more eating carrot sticks dipped in mustard and calling it lunch. I'm past that. I know that restricting down to 500 cals per day just won't work for me. It's not something I can keep up long-term, which is what I'm going for.
I'm also going to move the scale out of my bathroom and stash it somewhere. The temptation to weigh myself everyday is too strong.
Previous:::Next
The End - 07 February 2007
Updatery - 03 December 2004
Not much to say - 13 November 2004
- - 11 November 2004
Hindsight is 20/20 - 11 November 2004
