We are far too young and clever
And things won't ever change.
29 February 2004
12:02 a.m.
I feel crappy and I don't know why. I feel totally alone, which is odd, because I just got back from seeing a movie with a friend. I feel like I fail at every single thing I try to do. I feel lost.
I want to cut myself. I want to focus all my attention on the pain and the blood until everything else fades away and nothing matters and there aren't any problems. I know cutting isn't the answer. And, actually, I know what the answer is. The answer is to take a couple blue Tylenol or Benadryl and go to sleep, because everything always seems better in the morning. But that's not what I want.
I would cut myself. Except that it's getting warmer and I hate wearing long sleeves when it's hot. My scabs from last time finally all healed up. I'd cut my legs except that I wear shorts to the gym. I guess I could cut around my right knee, since I wear a knee brace when I work out.
No. I'm going to go drink a shitload of water and throw it up to calm my mind, take a few pills to sleep, and play Nintendo til I pass out. This will all seem ok tomorrow.
Previous:::Next
The End - 07 February 2007
Updatery - 03 December 2004
Not much to say - 13 November 2004
- - 11 November 2004
Hindsight is 20/20 - 11 November 2004
