We are far too young and clever
And things won't ever change.
15 November 2003
9:19 p.m.
First of all, I'm having a strange manic high, which is nice. I'm full of energy; I have the urge to do heavy-duty cleaning, like moping or washing the windows. I just washed dishes for half an hour. I was totally in the zone, old school Smashing Pumpkins on the Walkman. I've been totally reliving my middle school years with some Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. That album really sums up my middle school experience. It's nice to just remember the good times. Thanks, brain. Well, I do remember the bad times...but mainly I see my childhood through a foggy lens that makes everything bearable, if not happy. There are occasional lapses in the fog, but I'm good at blocking things out of my mind. What else can you do?
And now, in more current affairs. My sleeping still isn't completely stable, but whatever. It's working. I've got a two page to-do list. Sometimes I write things on it that just came up and I went ahead a took care of just so I can mark something off. But it's ok. Manageable. Everything will be better once I take the GREs. And do well on them, of course. This week for sure. My eating is shit, although it's kind of hard to tell, since I sleep and eat at weird times. I certainly haven't been to the gym. All I've kept down today is two low-fat Pop Tarts (380 cals!) and a mini Milky Way. I binged on a bunch of fried shit, a huge burger, and cheese-smothered potatoes, two Cokes, and some Starburst. Great purge, too, I know 90% of it came up.
So. What else is there? I feel good, I feel in control. Little things are making my grin. I wasn't like this an hour ago. I'm high as a kite for no reason. Oh well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
"I never let on
That I was on a sinking ship."
Previous:::Next
The End - 07 February 2007
Updatery - 03 December 2004
Not much to say - 13 November 2004
- - 11 November 2004
Hindsight is 20/20 - 11 November 2004
