We are far too young and clever
And things won't ever change.
03 November 2003
9:02 p.m.
I feel so dead inside. All I want to do is sleep. I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm so alone...I find myself retreating more and more frequently into my mind. Keeping myself company with my made up stories and lives and pretending that that's enough to sustain me. What else can I do? Everything is so empty. I want to cut myself just to feel something. But why bother? It's all so much effort. I want to be on meds. I so tired of all of this. I won't be home to see my doctor for about three weeks. I want to be back in therapy...but, no, that's not true. I like the idea of therapy, of being the type of person who needs it. I want to be sicker than I am, I want to be hospitalized for schizophrenia or something, and just sleep all the time. I want to be someone else.
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The End - 07 February 2007
Updatery - 03 December 2004
Not much to say - 13 November 2004
- - 11 November 2004
Hindsight is 20/20 - 11 November 2004
